Early January, 2023.
I’ll just say it — this week has been a total nightmare.
All 3 of the humans in this house have been sick. We’ve muddled through congested days, sleepless nights, and the anxiety of dealing with a super sick toddler. We thought we all had Covid (thankfully we didn’t), so we quarantined at home and waited for test results.
Not only did I feel like hot garbage, I also learned first-hand that moms don’t get days off. Feel like you’re going to puke or pass out? Too bad. You have a tiny human to keep alive. And in this case, a very sick husband to worry about in addition.
The laundry and dishes piled up. We didn’t change out of our jammies. We survived on soup, cough drops, and baby Tylenol. We napped on demand and had no idea what day it was or when we last left the house. We watched a lot of Netflix and even considered heading to the ER a couple of times. All routines and schedules went out the window.
By Friday, I realized I couldn’t remember the last time I had done anything that could be considered “self-care” and I almost laughed out loud at the thought. Self-care! Hah! What does that even mean when your only goal has been to just SURVIVE until tomorrow? It felt frivolous to even consider the possibility of luxuriating in a bubble bath when I had been so busy caring for my sick baby and husband that I didn’t even have time to focus on recovering from my own illness. The idea of self-care suddenly seemed like another one of those to-do list items; a way to tell moms that they need to add another thing to their plates.
Maybe simply being ok with letting the laundry go this week was actually a form of self-care. Maybe giving myself grace when I knew June was getting too much time in front of the TV, but I was just too sick to get off the couch was also self-care.
While we can certainly thrive when we hold ourselves and others to high standards, maybe there are times when it’s okay to just move through life with a shorter list of expectations.
In yoga, I tell my students to “move without expectation.” I want them to be fully present in the space of their bodies — to move intuitively and stop worrying about what they think the posture SHOULD look like or what the body on the mat next to them looks like.
My intention for you this week: practice self-care by moving (in yoga or through life) joyfully and without expectation. Recognize when you need to take “health” off your to-do list because when it becomes a burden, it’s not healthy anyway. Understand that flexibility and grace are sometimes the highest forms of self-care.
Namaste.
Wendy Veltman says
I’m sorry you all were sick😪. A very well written story! Take care!