Things have been rough for the Stosicks lately as they have been for many people. A few weeks ago we found out that Brett would not be returning home from deployment on schedule and around the same time I lost all three of my sources of income. We’re very aware that, thanks to COVID-19 and the global consequences of this pandemic, our circumstances are not unique nor are they as devastating for us as they have been for others. We don’t have kids to feed or a mortgage to pay. The military continues to ensure that, at minimum, we have a roof over our heads, running water, and a warm place to sleep every night. These gifts are not lost on me and for them I am extremely grateful. It doesn’t mean we’re floating through this season without our fair share of struggle, however.
The last few weeks have been some of the hardest of my life. It’s been scary to navigate every day without Brett and make decisions for our household on my own in the midst of virulent panic and illness. It’s also exhausting to wake up every day and remember that I still am not sure when I’ll see him again.
It’s all just been way too much and, needless to say, it’s been easy to let myself wilt a little. Depression and anxiety have taken the wheel.
So, I’m going to do something I have had to do lots of times in my life… something that I do well and with reckless optimism. I’m reacquainting myself with my bootstraps. April is going to be my month.
Starting today (March 30) and ending on April 30, the day after my 31st birthday, I will complete 28 runs for a minimum of 100 total miles.
Objectives
I’m doing this with the intention of making my life a little brighter. As an athlete I know that, in order to perform, I have to fuel my body appropriately and good fuel leads to increased mental health. Additionally, I know that exercise releases chemicals in the brain that have a positive impact on mental function and health. Most importantly, I know that having this goal to focus on and pour my efforts into will take some of the weight of the world off my shoulders, even if just for 45 minutes per day.
I’ll write specifically about how I feel each day and note differences over time. Right now, the specific data points are a little unclear for me, but I’ll figure them out with my first couple of runs and be sure to share them. I also recognize that the results of my efforts this month will be largely subjective.
The rules
- Every run must be a minimum of 3 miles and I can’t run the same distance two days in a row. I’d like to just go out and run without worrying about mileage, but I know that if I don’t challenge myself I won’t see a true positive impact.
- Pre-run yoga and post-run foam rolling/stretching is required.
- Quick post every day for accountability.
- A journal entry every day (not public) to track important data points.
Full disclosure… I don’t know if I’m going to make it. The last time I ran 100 miles in a month I was training for a marathon. I don’t actually know what April will hold for me. All I know is that this is me leaping forward with an attempt at some radical changes in an effort to be busier, healthier, and happier. Running is something I know how to do — something that has made a profoundly positive impact on my life. It will be a comfort to me every day, in a time when I have no idea what the hell else to do or what the right thing is, to wake up and just do this one thing that I know how to do. I need to be able to walk (or run) away from the month of April with an accomplishment, however small; something for which I can be proud of myself.
I’d love for you to join me, if you feel so called. You can make your own rules, set your own mileage, and decide on your own objectives. You don’t have to complete 28 runs or 100 miles; maybe three runs every week works best for you, or 150 miles suits you better. Whatever you decide on, I definitely encourage you to write it all down and find the best ways for YOU to keep yourself accountable. Running is always better when you’re doing it with your community and we can all use a little community right now (from a distance, of course).
Send me a note and let me know if you’re in. Either way, I’m channeling bravery and confidence your way with whatever goals you’re setting for yourself in this season of instability and worry.
Part II coming next week.